Dervish’s Musical Makeover: The Joker…Rewritten

 

I was walking past the music room when I heard singing. At first, I thought it was The Joker by Steve Miller, but something was…off. The words weren’t quite right.

I peeked inside and found Dervish, deeply engrossed in what appeared to be a self-portrait—scrawled with his own revised lyrics. Apparently, the song needed a few improvements to better suit his worldview.

Here’s the full version of Dervish’s rewrite. I take no responsibility for the liberties he’s taken with the lyrics:

                                      Some people call me a con artiste

                                      some people call me the gangster of junk

                                      some people call me Derveeeeeesh!

                                      cause I reek of the pompitous of skunk

 

                                     I'm a squawker, I'm a talker

                                     I'm a trash bin stalker

                                     I steal your bacon then I run

                                     I'm a joker, I'm a croaker

                                     I'm a back room broker

                                     Sure don't wanna hurt no one

                                     I'm a trickster, I'm a fixer

                                     I'm a double dose elixir

                                     I peddle nonsense just for fun 

More Dervish Here (Home)

Walter’s Yowl Review: Love Potion #8 – A Foul Formula?

 

Walter tried a love potion. It didn't work. Now he's writing reviews instead of poetry.

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Dervish’s Version: A Classic Rewritten

 

The haunting melody and mysterious lyrics of Gypsy inspired the name of a character in my book. Naturally, Dervish couldn’t resist rewriting the song—to make it all about him. It seems publishing didn’t close the chapter on Dervish and his antics. 

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Dervish Leaves a (Very Loud) Review

 

Publishing Sea Horses in the Olive Jar didn’t stop Dervish from making his opinions known—especially when it comes to Dr. Horton’s clinic. His latest contribution? A scathing yowl review, voicing his deep dissatisfaction with his most recent visit. I suspect his real complaint isn’t the care he received but rather something more ridiculous.

At this point, I’ve probably spent more money on his fake illnesses than on food for myself. Here it is, straight from the beak of my most dramatic (and expensive) critic.

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Budgie Sings Mr. Ed Theme

 

Is it any surprise that my book features talking crows when I once had a budgie who could sing the Mr. Ed theme? Much like Dervish, he had a knack for twisting the lyrics into his own unique version! His rendition wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty amazing for a little bird.

Though Whistler is now waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge, I’m grateful to have recordings of his many ramblings. I’ll be sharing more of them here in the future—stay tuned!

                "A horse is horse a course, no talk to a horse, a horse a course, horse, horse, horse,

                    famous Mr. err Mr. Head." 

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The Shelties Behind Loki: How My Dogs Inspired Sea Horses in the Olive Jar

 

These two dogs, along with a lifetime of being owned by Shelties, inspired the character of Loki in Sea Horses in the Olive Jar.

I believe dogs—whether as helpers, catalysts for change, or simply as companions—play an important role in humanity. They forgive our bad moods, overlook our flaws, and offer unconditional support while asking for very little in return. Unless, of course, they’re Shelties… Lol.

Shelties demand you follow their schedules, but not without a hidden reward. Mine insists on a morning walk, where I get to watch the sunrise, hear the birds sing, and forget whatever small worries I woke up with. He also makes sure I shut my laptop when I’ve been doom-scrolling too long—by jumping into my lap and slapping it closed with his paw. Does he know the dangers of excessive blue light before bedtime? Or is he just reminding me that his nightly biscuit is overdue, staring at me with those intense sheepdog eyes?

Shelties are herders at heart, and without a flock of sheep, they adapt. Mine has chosen me as his one and only charge—bossing, maneuvering, and keeping after me until he gets his way.

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Sea Horses in the Olive Jar: A Hilariously Unpredictable Reader Review

 

You never know where your book will end up once it’s out in the wild. Will it be read in a cozy library nook? Used as a coaster? Stuffed under a subway seat, left out in the rain, and repurposed as nest material by sparrows? Will it appear in the “Frequently Bought Together” section next to, say, a DVD box set of A.P. Bio or books like OJ’s Knife Speaks and The Eighth Wonder of the World: A Sheltie That Doesn’t Bark?

Shamazon—the world’s most trusted (and completely real) online retailer—has collected its first reader review. I present to you: Some Random Guy on the Subway’s completely unbiased, not-at-all-bribed thoughts on Sea Horses in the Olive Jar.

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Gypsy Leaves a Yowl Review—Because Characters Have Minds of Their Own

 

The moment you publish, your characters are no longer yours. They wander off, form opinions, and, apparently, leave Yowl reviews. Case in point: Gypsy.

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Hank the Spokescrow: A Crow with a Knack for Dressing Up

Sometimes you learn new things about your characters after the book is written...like how Hank's penchant for wearing clothes was why he had to ride a pig into town instead of flying. Sensible and steady, Hank is the least prone to mischief among the brothers...unless you count his love of dressing up. Here he is in his finest scarecrow attire for his job as a corn seed spokescrow. Who better to sell corn than a crow?

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Dervish vs. Nancy Grace: When Courtroom Chaos Meets a Pointy Pencil

 

Dervish learns the hard way that in Nancy Grace’s courtroom, even a spilled water bottle is a federal offense. Justice is swift. And possibly delivered by a pointy pencil.

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The Fairy Tale Logic of Dr. Horton’s Eccentric Cures

 

Dr. Horton was teaching a class of vet students when her elephant insisted on being part of the lesson...so she used him as a chalkboard.

At first, Dr. Horton was simply comic relief...her eccentric cures, her unwavering confidence in treatments that wouldn’t work outside the world of the book. But now I wonder if she serves a deeper purpose: the necessary illusion that smooths the rough edges of life.

In fairy tales, there is always a wise figure...a healer, a magician, a sage...offering a cure, a way through the impossible. Whether their remedies truly work or not almost doesn’t matter. Maybe the cures we seek aren't really for what we think they are...and Dr. Horton knows this.

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Sketching Gypsy: Seeing My Characters with Fresh Eyes

 

Beginning a sketchbook after completing Sea Horses in the Olive Jar led to unexpected insights about the characters. The bulk of the book was written years ago, then left dormant when I couldn’t find the ending. Returning to it after so much time, reading passages I had forgotten, gave me fresh eyes. I chuckled at jokes I didn’t remember writing and saw how the stories wove together in ways I hadn’t fully recognized before.

Sketching Gypsy made me see her more clearly—especially in the harsh light of the drawing, as she really was. Love, or perhaps the idea of love, can blur reality, casting everything in a softer glow. It’s interesting how someone’s physical form can become almost nonexistent when you believe you see into their soul—or maybe only see a reflection of yourself there.

This isn’t a book about crows, per se. Crows are simply the vehicle—allowing me to explore ideas, emotions, and conversations that, if written with human characters, might never have surfaced from my subconscious. Gypsy, in particular, remains a puzzle—both to Walter and to the reader. She is left open to interpretation, as all the most intriguing characters are.

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"Sea Horses in the Olive Jar"—Early Cover Concept & Dervish’s Creative Genius (or Not)

 

This was my watercolor sketch as I worked out the concept for the cover art. While I usually reserve watercolor for my sketchbooks, I thought its spontaneity suited the whimsical nature of the illustration. Hopefully, it conveys fun and laughter ahead, balancing some of the more serious reflections in the book.

Still, I’ve wondered—does this cover make people think it’s a lighthearted children’s book? Choosing a new book to read can be tricky, often dictated by mood or quick first impressions. I know I’ve skipped over countless titles and covers, convinced they weren’t for me. But how many stories have I missed that I might have actually loved?

Not to mislead—there are sad places in Sea Horses in the Olive Jar. At its heart, it’s about longing, loss, and all the absurd things we do to survive them. But don’t worry—Dervish won’t let anyone get too sentimental without throwing in a well-timed insult or an ill-advised business venture.

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Meet Hank: The Corn Seed Salescrow With A Song In His Heart

 Meet Hank—corn seed salesman by day, corny songwriter by night. If there’s a tune in his heart (and there always is), it’s probably about love, loss, and lucrative seed deals. Whether he's serenading the fields or scribbling lyrics on the back of a receipt, Hank's music is heartfelt.

Sample verse of Hank's latest "hit"

Fields of Gold Rows of Dust

I've walked the rows where the tall corn grows

With dust on my wings and seeds in my beak

Selling promises wrapped in burlap sacks

To farmers chasing harvests they may never reap 

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Meet Walter: The Sculpture That Inspired Sea Horses in the Olive Jar

 

Meet the sculpture that inspired Walter, perched atop Wild Birds of North America, page 323, plate 19—the very spot where he first met Gypsy.

Walter was carefully crafted using a combination of materials: his feet are sculpted from clay, he perches on realistic clay tree bark, and his body was formed using a taxidermy mannequin wrapped in craft feathers and a feather boa. Held together with Elmer’s glue, his look captures the essence of a crow—without a single bird being harmed in the process.

This handmade creation became the spark for Sea Horses in the Olive Jar, where Walter takes flight as a character full of quiet love and adventure.

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Meet Dervish: The Puppet That Started It All

 

 

Meet Dervish, the crow who started it all. I found him in a store, a simple puppet at first, but there was something about him, he came to life in the way only the best characters do. Here he is perched on my toaster oven. He quickly developed a knack for junk drawer inventions and questionable life choices. His once black feathers have taken on a suspicious burnt orange hue. Perhaps due to his ill fated attempts to steal pepperoni from a pizza while it's still in the oven.

Dervish became more than a puppet, he became the spark behind Seahorses in the Olive Jar. Like a feathered Pinocchio, he pulled me into his world, and the story unfolded from there. 

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Welcome to Crows, Fiction, and Other Oddities

If you’ve found your way here, chances are you’re a fan of crows, storytelling, or unusual fiction. Maybe you read my nonfiction book, Caw of the Wild: Observations from the Secret World of Crows, or my novel, Sea Horses in the Olive Jar, and want to explore more. Either way—welcome!

This blog is a place where fiction, humor, and real-life crow observations come together. Here’s what you’ll find:

🐦 Caw of the Wild fans – I’ll share occasional posts about real crows, new crow experiences, and insights related to my nonfiction work.

📖 Sea Horses in the Olive Jar readers – If you enjoyed the book, you’ll find exclusive content, side stories, and extra moments with your favorite characters that aren’t in the novel.

🎨 Illustrations & behind-the-scenes content – I’ll be posting sketches, concept art, and musings that tie into my writing and creative process.

Whether you love crows, offbeat fiction, surreal humor, or simply discovering something unexpected, I hope you’ll stick around. There’s always more to tell.

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